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MavenYou Post Archive

January 2019
- Jan 6, 2019 Girl Power
- Jan 7, 2019 Me and Mariah: A Millennial Love Story
- Jan 13, 2019 How to Win (Connection With) Friends
- Jan 13, 2019 But I wanted *different* hard times
February 2019
- Feb 27, 2019 Pornography: Hopefully a Different Take Than You're Used To
April 2019
- Apr 6, 2019 How Meekness Makes Us Strong (Reprise)
August 2019
- Aug 4, 2019 How do I go from THIS, to "Classy Older Lady?"
September 2019
- Sep 18, 2019 Unused Creativity is Not Benign

Relationship Refinery Post Archive (same stuff, old name)

2018
- Nov 28, 2018 Get Rich: Why Being Interesting Matters
- Oct 29, 2018 For Good Men Trying to be Better
- Sep 30, 2018 Girl, Get Your Testimony Back
- Aug 11, 2018 You're good, even when you're bad
- Aug 5, 2018 Mental Minimalism
2017
- Dec 13, 2017 The Problem With a Personal Witness
- Nov 19, 2017 It's Good That Your Marriage is Hard Work
- Sep 27, 2017 Everything does not happen for a reason
- Jul 30, 2017 Should I Change For Love?
- Jun 12, 2017 Moms Can't Think
- Apr 18, 2017 What kind of Mormon are you? (And why that's a dumb question)
- Mar 19, 2017 My Lifelong Wrestle With Mormonism
- Feb 19, 2017 Reboot
- Jan 5, 2017 Maybe You're Not Enough
2016
- Dec 23, 2016 My Kid Sleeps In The Kitchen
- Oct 27, 2016 How to Grow Your Perspective
- Oct 17, 2016 On Healing and Hamilton
- Jun 14, 2016 Heart Breaks
- Apr 17, 2016 It's My Depression and I'll Write if I Want To
- Jan 12, 2016 No Offense: Why Meekness Matters
2015
- Oct 18, 2015 Me Too
- Sep 28, 2015 To Those Who Wait
- Sep 20, 2015 Love is Not Enough
- Apr 5, 2015 I Dreamt You
- Feb 12, 2015 Valentine's Day Confessions
- Jan 21, 2015 For Goodness' Sake (In Memory of George)
2014
- Nov 25, 2014 Thanksgiving
- Nov 16, 2014 Less-Than-Perfect, Perfect Marriage
- Nov 5, 2014 Thirty Lessons
- Oct 25, 2014 Paying the Price
- Oct 8, 2014 Stupid Husband Syndrome
- Sep 19, 2014 A Soft Place to Land
- Sep 13, 2014 Get Needy (Rogers' Journey to Cambridge)
- Aug 14, 2014 How Did I Get Here?
- Jul 31, 2014 Online Dating Part 2: It's a Party
- Jul 27, 2014 Bonds That Make Us Free: The Maddening and Gladdening Book
- Jul 25, 2014 Remembering with your Heart
- Jul 22, 2014 Are You an Interesting Person?
- Jul 21, 2014 Re-fine-ment

Past Posts

Get Rich: Why Being Interesting Matters

This started as an Instagram “rant” of sorts, so please forgive the sloppy social media shorthand.

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For Good Men Trying to be Better

To the good men reading: I love you. I really do. None of the men in my life deserve to be talked to like they’re a rapist or potential rapist. They are not responsible for the poor choices of another, and I don’t intend to treat them, or you, that way.

So please, stay with me guys. I’ve written this with my sons in mind and from a perspective built on years experiencing vastly different socio-political settings, seeing the virtues of both.

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Girl, Get Your Testimony Back

Culturally, we have sent a message that a person is not of complete value until they are married. Which naturally leads to the belief that if one loses that value through loss of the marriage, they are less-than. They aren't a "full" member, and by extension, a “complete” daughter of God.

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Mental Minimalism

Just clear off the friggin’ countertop.

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Should I Change For Love?

I would like to be able to say that I never again did something dumb to win another’s approval, but I can’t. What I’ve hopefully done is made it to a place where I am trying to win the right people’s approval, for the right reasons, and in the right ways.

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Moms Can't Think

In Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, self-actualization comes dead last. There is no time for navel gazing when your feet are bleeding and you woke up covered in frogs.

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What kind of Mormon are you? (And why that's a dumb question)

When I wrote “My Lifelong Wrestle With Mormonism,” up to that time I had been writing for an audience made up of my friends, my parents, and nine and a half “extended friends”, give or take.

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My Lifelong Wrestle With Mormonism

Breaking news: Religion isn’t cool. Shocker.

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How to Grow Your Perspective

How many times did you argue against the very side you are now on, swearing up and down that you would “never” think like “them”? “Them” being your parents, your teacher, your neighbor, your religious leader, your coach?

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It's My Depression and I'll Write if I Want To

In college, I studied behavioral science which covers psychology as the central science. I could list the symptoms of depression off the top of my head.

And yet, the signs escaped me when they were mine.

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No Offense: Why Meekness Matters

~~This one is for my baby son. He never meant us any harm~~I’ve allowed myself to be offended at every level, and from every level of intent from mistaken to purposeful...

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To Those Who Wait

...it’s easy to feel like your worth as a person, male or female, is inextricably tied to your relationship status. It’s not. But marriage is something that a lot of us desire, since a large component of the Gospel is finding joy through family relationships. However...

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I Dreamt You

I didn’t take my native culture to New York with me. I had always been dead-set on marrying later, having children later, and having them because I wanted them, not because of any social, religious, or cultural pressure. That’s how I went into it, but nothing could have prepared me for the depth of feeling I would develop for the children I lived with, loved, and nurtured over the next few years. It was as close to motherhood as I would come for almost a decade.

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Valentine's Day Confessions

The truth is, I haven’t told a single soul this story, not in much detail anyway, and not ever free of half-truths. My closest friends don't know the truth; even my parents aren't aware of the saga. I'm sorry, everyone. My husband, on the other hand, has chuckled with friends about this now infamous night in our marriage because unlike me, he is comfortable making light of his follies.

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Less-Than-Perfect, Perfect Marriage

“Can you believe the worst year of our marriage is almost over?” Oh, the romance of a one year anniversary.

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Paying the Price

Today, my testimony is my most precious possession. I would not be living a wholehearted life without it, and things in the day-to-day would be incredibly different.

My testimony is only so valuable to me now because I earned it.

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A Soft Place to Land

Just be kind.

I’ll probably lose some of you here. But that’s because it seems so obvious that it is brushed over almost chronically to the demise of many could-be-great relationships.

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