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Less-Than-Perfect, Perfect Marriage

November 16, 2014 by Kate Rogers in Marriage

“Can you believe the worst year of our marriage is almost over?” Oh, the romance of a one year anniversary.

November 16, 2014 /Kate Rogers

anniversary, expectations, husband, LDS, LDS Marriage, love, marriage, marriage help, Mormon, relationships, wife

Past Posts

Get Rich: Why Being Interesting Matters

Get Rich: Why Being Interesting Matters

This started as an Instagram “rant” of sorts, so please forgive the sloppy social media shorthand.

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For Good Men Trying to be Better

For Good Men Trying to be Better

To the good men reading: I love you. I really do. None of the men in my life deserve to be talked to like they’re a rapist or potential rapist. They are not responsible for the poor choices of another, and I don’t intend to treat them, or you, that way.

So please, stay with me guys. I’ve written this with my sons in mind and from a perspective built on years experiencing vastly different socio-political settings, seeing the virtues of both.

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Girl, Get Your Testimony Back

Girl, Get Your Testimony Back

Culturally, we have sent a message that a person is not of complete value until they are married. Which naturally leads to the belief that if one loses that value through loss of the marriage, they are less-than. They aren't a "full" member, and by extension, a “complete” daughter of God.

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Mental Minimalism

Mental Minimalism

Just clear off the friggin’ countertop.

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Should I Change For Love?

Should I Change For Love?

I would like to be able to say that I never again did something dumb to win another’s approval, but I can’t. What I’ve hopefully done is made it to a place where I am trying to win the right people’s approval, for the right reasons, and in the right ways.

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Moms Can't Think

Moms Can't Think

In Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, self-actualization comes dead last. There is no time for navel gazing when your feet are bleeding and you woke up covered in frogs.

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What kind of Mormon are you? (And why that's a dumb question)

What kind of Mormon are you? (And why that's a dumb question)

When I wrote “My Lifelong Wrestle With Mormonism,” up to that time I had been writing for an audience made up of my friends, my parents, and nine and a half “extended friends”, give or take.

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My Lifelong Wrestle With Mormonism

My Lifelong Wrestle With Mormonism

Breaking news: Religion isn’t cool. Shocker.

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How to Grow Your Perspective

How to Grow Your Perspective

How many times did you argue against the very side you are now on, swearing up and down that you would “never” think like “them”? “Them” being your parents, your teacher, your neighbor, your religious leader, your coach?

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It's My Depression and I'll Write if I Want To

It's My Depression and I'll Write if I Want To

In college, I studied behavioral science which covers psychology as the central science. I could list the symptoms of depression off the top of my head.

And yet, the signs escaped me when they were mine.

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No Offense: Why Meekness Matters

No Offense: Why Meekness Matters

~~This one is for my baby son. He never meant us any harm~~I’ve allowed myself to be offended at every level, and from every level of intent from mistaken to purposeful...

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To Those Who Wait

To Those Who Wait

...it’s easy to feel like your worth as a person, male or female, is inextricably tied to your relationship status. It’s not. But marriage is something that a lot of us desire, since a large component of the Gospel is finding joy through family relationships. However...

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I Dreamt You

I didn’t take my native culture to New York with me. I had always been dead-set on marrying later, having children later, and having them because I wanted them, not because of any social, religious, or cultural pressure. That’s how I went into it, but nothing could have prepared me for the depth of feeling I would develop for the children I lived with, loved, and nurtured over the next few years. It was as close to motherhood as I would come for almost a decade.

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Valentine's Day Confessions

Valentine's Day Confessions

The truth is, I haven’t told a single soul this story, not in much detail anyway, and not ever free of half-truths. My closest friends don't know the truth; even my parents aren't aware of the saga. I'm sorry, everyone. My husband, on the other hand, has chuckled with friends about this now infamous night in our marriage because unlike me, he is comfortable making light of his follies.

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Less-Than-Perfect, Perfect Marriage

Less-Than-Perfect, Perfect Marriage

“Can you believe the worst year of our marriage is almost over?” Oh, the romance of a one year anniversary.

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Paying the Price

Paying the Price

Today, my testimony is my most precious possession. I would not be living a wholehearted life without it, and things in the day-to-day would be incredibly different.

My testimony is only so valuable to me now because I earned it.

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A Soft Place to Land

A Soft Place to Land

Just be kind.

I’ll probably lose some of you here. But that’s because it seems so obvious that it is brushed over almost chronically to the demise of many could-be-great relationships.

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MavenYou Instagram

You guys! This is IT! Do you know how long I’ve avoided the topic of body image bc our society is so delusional about weight that it taught me that since I’m thin, I’m not welcome in the discussion?
.
That those difficulties are exc

Parenting requires a lot of heart, and with little kids I find it hard to show up as ME and not as MOM (to them, not elsewhere) because I worry if I put down my MOM mask even for a moment, the sheer energy and needs of my kids will overwhelm ME&mdash

EXAMPLE of how changing how we see the world is a foundational form of courage:

@laylafsaad is asking @glennondoyle what she does when she gets it wrong. “It” being discussing racism on social media and sometimes falling short as she lea

Yesterday I made the claim that learning to see things in a new way is the foundation of all other forms of #courage .

To be clear, I am not saying this is the MOST courageous thing one can do, the hardest, or the pinnacle of courage.

Those titles

Light Refined Instagram (Thoughts as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints)

Of all the things I read this week, this is the one.

It won’t leave me.

Today I ran into the room just as my younger son, George, hit my older son, Clayton on the bum with a yardstick.

Later, Clayton was telling me his pain, saying he would

Thoughts on the Gospel of Jesus Christ and my role in it. A decade ago my hero Clayton Christensen gave a fireside where he outlined 3 problems the church had that the Leadership needed the members’ help to resolve. They were stuck.*
.
He said

I realize we can’t live on borrowed light.
But how many of us know exactly what to do to bring light into our lives but just can’t bring ourselves to do it sometimes?

I depend heavily on carrying my little empty cup around to my “n

Guys, this book is blowing my mind. I’ll summarize more in future posts, but for now I’ll just say this:

I’ve been trying to find the language to describe this process- this idea that there isn’t an “in” or &ldquo